Taken with instagram

Taken with instagram

I thought maybe that there was something .. but I guess other things truly do mean more than others .. Have I lost?  That I can’t say yet .. at least for now I have lost .. maybe in time I will win the war .. but as it stands .. I have lost this battle.

WOW .. it’s been almost 2 months since I have made an entry but so much has happened over this time .. I am loving it here in So. Cal. with my beautiful and loving partner Jayson. 

Today however is a very hard day because I closed a chapter in my life dealing with an ex of mine .. even while typing this I am still crying because it was the happiest I had been in a long time with him .. 2 years and joy and beauty ended with hate and sadness.

All I can say is that I wish him the best in life .. I wish him peace, joy and happiness.

I sent a final text to him saying the same thing and sending this song to him also:

May The Road Rise to Meet You: http://youtu.be/tn9hLK2nmPM

It’s a beautiful Irish Blessing talking about after you depart may your life be solid, beautiful and happy .. and may the wind always be at your back.

I do and will forever love him but it’s time for me to move on .. it’s time for me to fully 100% give myself to Jayson and i can’t do that while holding onto my ex .. it’s not fair to myself because I am only serving to hurt myself more and more importantly it isn’t fair to Jayson because he is so loving .. so warm and beautiful and he deserves everything that I am not just body but mind, heart, and soul as well.

Blessed be to everyone and for all of my friends I leave you this song:

Irish Blessing: http://youtu.be/G7O9OqBd2us

Sorry for being away for a week .. have been busy but doing very well.  I am in So. Cali and I have to say I am LOVING it down here .. the weather is gorgeous (shorts and sandals all the time .. just wanted to let all you winter people know that :-P LOL).

I have never felt so calm, relaxed, stress-free in my whole life actually .. so yes as the Village People say .. Go West .. I do not regret at all coming out here and plus someone very special to me is here :-) and he makes things so much better as well :-) will post pics later :-)

I am so loving it here .. I for the first time in my life have truly let go of schedules and lists and have really moved forward in my life which has been my biggest fear .. that i would end up die working my ass off all the time, following schedules till the day I die and not really enjoy life.  Coming out here has really helped me with that along with Jayson who is such a very sweet and beautiful man .. along with his whole family here that has really helped me relax more and that.  

I am still doing my writing for ALL BEAR Magazine, working on my photography, going to school and everything as normal but now I don’t feel so rushed and stressed out in life.

Stay tuned .. now that I am settled in I will be posting more frequently :-) 

Have you ever had a fear so strong that you feel it is going to consume you??  I have over the past few weeks been trying to overcome a fear of mine .. the fear that the sum of my life .. the writing on my tombstone .. the thing that people will remember me as is someone who … worked … that’s it .. just worked his life away.

I have only truly taken two vacations for myself and that’s it .. since I graduated high school I have worked.  Yes I have traveled the US and have been to every state in the lower 48 except VT, but that was when I was driving a truck so I was working.  When I look in the mirror I see someone that is much older than myself staring back at me and honestly it scares the shit out of me.  I see others and see how free-spirited they are and god I admire that .. they have done some much in their life .. they have been so many places .. and have seen so many things.  I am 28 years old and all I have really done in my life is work. 

I haven’t been one to just do something without planning .. I have always set a schedule of things to do and have done it.  I have always kept to do lists and I when I try to envision my future that is what I see 5, 10, even 15 years from now. As the saying goes .. all work and no play .. and god I truly understand that saying now.  Here lately I have laid awake at night in tears because I can’t work past this fear of dying on the job working .. I don’t want my life to be that way .. I want to be remembered for more than just work.  

I have 3 people in my life right now to thank for helping me realize this and you know who you are .. Thank you .. now I must face this fear head on or it will drive me over the edge like all fear will.  No not saying I would try to kill myself .. but you know what I am talking about.  For the first time in my life I am going to let everything go .. and for me .. walk into an unknown world.  I am going to live by the moment.  I tell everyone to live in the hear and now .. but I don’t take my own advice .. I am throwing all my lists and schedules out of the window and just going and doing.  Am I afraid .. hell yea because I have never done something without a plan .. but if I don’t do this now then I never will.  I have worked and worked and worked to be able to do this and I have to take it and run with it.

Don’t worry though I will still be blogging and making posts.  

I might make some of you mad at me doing this and I am sorry .. if you no longer want to be my friend then I wish you the best in life .. but I have to do what my heart and soul are telling me to do right now.  I love you all very much .. I count it as a true blessing to call everyone here my friend.  

Blessed Be

I have for a few weeks been thinking about a lot of things in my life and looking back on the 7 years with my ex and where my current life is now.  I have had hurt and sadness but I have pushed through it and it has made me stronger.  I am now going to be making another huge change in my life.  I will be giving up a lot but I will be gaining so much more than I gave up.  There are people that I am going to miss .. some great friends .. but I must move forward .. I must take the next step in my path.  I am very happy and cannot wait for this change to take place.  I want everyone to know that I am still going to always be here if you need someone to talk to and I send love to each and every one of you .. Blessed Be

Oh really now … (EG) .. well you never know what will happen in life :-) .. Glad you like what I have done so far and keep checking back as I try to post everyday .. WOOOF

Ok so today is totally sucking right now.  Work is a nightmare as none of our tools are working right so trying to do customer services SUCKS!!!!!!!! I do love my job very much so .. I work with a great team and I am able to help people which is what I am all about .. however days like today when we have so much stacked on top of us that we have to do and keep track up and then our customer system doesn’t load information and crashes it makes me really get upset because we aren’t able to help our customers properly.  On top of all of that having to deal with two customers at a time is in my opinion dividing our focus and not providing good customer service either .. so I may have to rethink some things about my current position.   I want to help people not just heard them like cattle or be an online babysitter.

I have had a few people ask me what “Twitter Speak” is so I thought I would make a posting about it giving you and idea of just what it is and what it all means :-)

Twitter has been called the SMS (Texting) of the Internet because “Tweets” (posts) can only be 140 characters (including spaces) long.  Given this we “Tweeters” have had to develop our own language to be able to convey a lot of information within a very small space thus is how “Twitter Speak” was born with the help of texting that is.

105 Twitter Slang Words and Sayings:

@reply: The @reply means a Twitter update (a tweet) that is directed to another user in reply to their update. An @reply will be saved in the user’s “Replies” tab. Replies are sent either by clicking the ‘reply’ icon next to an update or typing @ username message (e.g., @user I saw that movie too).

ab/abt: Short for “about.” This chat abbreviation is is frequently seen on Twitter.

adventuritter: Slang term used to describe a Twitterer who is adventurous.

attwaction: Slang term used to describe an attraction between two users.

attwicted: Slang term used to describe someone who is addicted to Twitter.

b/c: Twitter shorthand for “because.”

B: Twitter shorthand for “be.”

b4: Twitter shorthand for “before.”

Bberrytweet: Slang term that refers to using a Blackberry device to send a tweet on Twitter.

beetweet: Slang term used to describe a “hot tweet.” Usually this is a popular, trending topic on Twitter and many users will retweet a beetweet.

bemyguest, #BeMyGuest: A popular Twitter hashtag (#BeMyGuest) to let other Twitter users know you’d like to exchange guest blog posts.

BFN: Short for “bye for now.”

bgd: A shortened form of “background” often used on Twitter.

Bird-of-mouth: Slang term that refers to the use of Twitter to circulate news and information.

BR: An acronym used on Twitter that stands for “best regards.”

bulltwit: Slang term to describe fake, false or over embellished Tweets.

Celebrity syndrome: This Twitter phrase refers to a situation in which a non-celebrity mistakenly believes he or she is a celebrity. Users with celebrity syndrome will not follow a significant number of Twitter users.

chk: Twitter shorthand for “check.”

cld: Twitter shorthand for “could.”

clk: Twitter shorthand for “click.”

co-twitterer: Slang term used to describe a second person who tweets on a single Twitter account.

crank tweet: Similar to a “crank phone call,” it is a misleading tweet.

cre8: Often seen on Twitter, it means “create.”

cuttweet: Sometimes simply known as “CT,” this slang term refers to a retweet that is a shortened version of the original.

da: Often used on Twitter, this is a shortened version of “the.”

daily twitamin: Twitter slang that means a tweet that contains useful knowledge that is easy to take in and remember. It is a “daily vitamin” for Twitterers.

deets: A shortened version of “details” often found on Twitter.

detweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet you made, then deleted.

direct message (DM): Short for direct message, it is the function of the Twitter service that enables you to send a private message (direct message) to a person you are following.

drive thru tweet: Refers to a tweet sent by an individual while he or she is at a restaurant drive-thru.

drive-by-tweet: This is a fast tweet posted by an individual while he or she is in between tasks.

drunktwittering: The act of posting on Twitter while intoxicated.

Dweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet that has been sent by a user who is drunk.

eavestweeting: The act of eavesdropping on other Twitter conversations.

egotwistical: Slang term used to describe a user who talks about himself on Twitter. It is a combination of the words “egotistical and Twitter.”

EM / eml: Shorthand versions of “e-mail” routinely used on Twitter.

EMA: An acronym for “e-mail address” used on Twitter.

emergaTweet: Also known as emergetweet it refers to a tweet sent out during an emergency when 911 is unavailable.

F2F: An acronym used on Twitter that means “face to face.”

fab: A shortened version of “fabulous” frequently used on Twitter.

Fail Whale: On the Twitter site, the Fail Whale is an image of a whale held up by birds and nets. This image shows that Twitter has been overloaded or that a failure occurred within the service.

FAV: The FAV action on Twitter lets you mark a person’s last message as a favorite message to be displayed in your Favorites Tab. To use FAV, type FAV username.

Follower / following: On Twitter, blogs, and other social media sites, a follower is someone who subscribes to receives your updates. On the Twitter Web site “following” someone means you will see their messages in your own personal timeline. Twitter lets you see all the people you follow and also who is following you.

FollowFriday (FF, or #followfriday): On Twitter, FollowFriday is a recommendation. It is used to call attention to a user’s favorite followers and favorite people on Twitter. When you tweet a FF message, you are recommending that your followers also check out the people you mention in your post. When you send a FollowFriday message, you include #followfriday in your update so it can can be searched for using that hash tag.

friendapalooza: A slang term used to describe a situation in which a twitterer adds many friends within a short time period.

friendscrapping: A slang term related to Twitter that refers to an individual adding all of a friend’s friends as his or her own.

FTL: An acronym frequently used on Twitter in place of the phrase “for the loss.”

FTW: An acronym frequently used on Twitter in place of the phrase “for the win.”

HAND: An acronym often used on Twitter, it stands for “have a nice day.”

Hash tag: A hash tag or hashtag is a way of organizing your updates for Twitter search engines. Users prefix a message with a community-driven hash tag to enable others to discover relevant posts. One commonly used hash tag on Twitter is #followfriday where users network by providing the names of their favorite people to follow on Twitter.

Hivemind: This is a term used to refer to the combined intelligence of all Twitter users.

IC: Often used on Twitter, it is the shorthand version for “I see.”

ICYMI: Short for “in case you missed it”, the abbreviation may appear in a tweet that is a repost from the same person, just incase their followers missed it the first time it was tweeted.

idk: An abbreviated form of “I don’t know” frequently used on Twitter.

intwituation/intwituated: Slang terms used to describe a situation in which someone is infatuated with another Twitter user.

kk: Twitter shorthand for “kewl kewl” (cool cool).

microblog: A type of blog that lets users publish short text updates. Bloggers can usually use a number of service for the updates including instant messaging, e-mail, or Twitter. The posts are called micro posts, while the act of using these services to update your blog is called microblogging.

mistweet: Slang term used to describe a tweet that you later regret having sent.

neweeter: A slang term used to describe a new tweeter. 

NTS: Twitter shorthand for Short for “note to self.”

OH: Short for overheard. This chat abbreviation is used on Twitter, often in place of RT (retweet) when the user does not want to provide the username of the follower they are quoting.

PRT: Short for please retweet. This is a notation added to the end of a Tweet. PRT shows the user is asking others to retweet their post.

Retweet: Abbreviated as RT, retweet is used on Twitter to show you are tweeting something that was posted by another user. The format is RT @username where username is the Twitter name of the person you are retweeting.

social networking site: Abbreviated as SNS, a social networking site is the phrase used to describe any website that enables users to create public profiles within that Web site and form relationships with other users of the same website. Social networking sites can be used to describe community-based websites, online discussions forums, chat rooms and other social spaces online.

TMB: Short for “Tweet me back.”

TrashTweeter: Refers to a twitterer who talks trash in his or her posts.

twabe (or twabes): Slang terms often used on Twitter to refer to a young woman. Can also be used as a flattering term that has roughly the same meaning as “dear” or “sweetheart.”

twabstinence: A slang term used to describe someone’s decision to cut back on their Twitter time because it is preventing them from completing their work or other important daily tasks.  

twabulous: A slang term used to describe a fabulous tweet.

Twaffic: Slang term used to mean “Twitter traffic.”

Twalking: Slang term used to describe someone who is walking while they tweet, using a mobile device.

twart: A slang term meaning “Twitter art.”

Twebay: Slang term used to describe selling (or promoting) an eBay item on Twitter.

Tweeple: Meaning Twitter people. It is used to refer to or describe Twitter users.

Tweet: Describes a Twitter update. A tweet is basically whatever you type into the Web box to answer that question, using 140 characters or less. People tweet personal messages, random thoughts, post links, or anything else that fits in the character requirements.

tweetaholic: The term used to describe someone who has a problematic addiction to Twitter.

tweeter: Refers to a person who send tweets on the Twitter service (same as Twitterer).

tweeterboxes: Slang term used to refer to Twitter users who “tweet excessively.”

tweetorial: Slang term used to describe tutoring or lecturing on or about Twitter. Some industry speakers use the term to describe a live event where a lecture on a Twitter topic is given (e.g., a seminar or event that teaches people how to use Twitter), while others use the term to describe giving a lecture on Twitter. Here the host speaker will use a special designated hash tag so others can follow the lecture on Twitter.

tweetroduce: Slang term used to describe the situation in which a user introduces one follower to another.

tweetsult: Slang for an insult sent using Twitter.

twegal advice: Slang term for legal advice that is sent on twitter using 140 characters or less.

twerminology: A slang term meaning “Twitter terminology.”

twettiquette: Short for Twitter etiquette. It is a slang term used to describe acceptable Twitter behavior.

Twewbie: Short for Twitter newbie. It is a slang term used to describe someone who is new to Twitter.

TwinkedIn: Slang term used to describe someone who invites their Twitter friends to interact with them on LinkedIn. 

twis: Slang term used to describe a ‘dis’ on a fellow Twitter user.

Twishing: Twishing is a combination of the words “Twitter and phishing”. It is the act of sending a message to a Twitter user in an attempt to obtain his or her name and password. The message may instruct the recipient to visit a Web site where he or she is asked to log in. The Web site, however, is bogus and set up only to steal the user’s information. See “Beware of Twishing” in the Did You Know…? section of Webopedia for more information on Twishing.

Twitosphere: An expression used to describe the “World of Twitter.”

twittcrastination: Slang term that refers to using Twitter as a form of procrastination.

twitterage: Slang term describing feelings of rage experienced as a result of a Twitter post.

Twitterapps: Short for Twitter applications. It is the phrase used to describe any application that integrates with the twitter service. May also be called Twitter tools or Twitter add-ons.

twitterati: Slang term that refers to ‘A-list’ Twitter users.

Twitterer: Refers to a person who send tweets on the Twitter service.

Twitterfly: A social butterfly on Twitter. A Twitterfly uses the @ sign in many messages, showing they have a lot of Twitter friends to talk with or mention in their updates.

Twitter-ific: Short for “Twitter” and “terrific.” It is a slang term used to describe something terrific you find on Twitter.

twitterpated: Slang term describing the feeling one experiences when messages on Twitter become overwhelming.

twitterphoria: Slang term describing the feelings of elation one experiences when they add someone as a friend and the person adds them in return.

Twittworking: Short for Twitter networking. It is a slang term used to describe Twitterers who use Twitter to network.

U: This shorthand form of “you” is frequently found on Twitter.

woz: Slang for “was,” this term is frequently found on Twitter.

wtv: A shorthand form of “whatever” often found on Twitter.

ykyat: An acronym standing for “you know you’re addicted to…” that is frequently used on Twitter.

yoyo: An acronym that stands for “you’re on your own” that is often used on Twitter.

ztwitt: A slang term that means “to tweet extremely fast.”  

RECOMMENDED READING: For more abbreviations that may be used in general Twitter status updates, see this Webopedia Quick Reference with definitions to more than 1,300 text message and chat abbreviations.

40 Twitterapps: Twitter Tools, Widgets & Applications

Autopostr: With this tool, Twitter users can instantly inform all of their friends whenever they post a photo on Flickr.

BiggerTwitter: An app (or add-on) that can be used to post tweets longer than 140 characters on Twitter. BiggerTwitter works by placing a link in the tweet.

BigTwitt: A Twitter tool that lets users post messages that exceed Twitter’s 140 character limit.

Bit.ly: A URL shorten service to shrink tweet URLs to 20 characters, plus track and share URLs.

Bkkeepr: A Twitter tool that allows users to keep track of books they are currently reading.

Blackbird Pie: A Twitter tool that allows individuals to embed tweets into Web sites or blog posts instead of copying and pasting tweets or taking screenshots. Users simply need to enter the URL of the tweet they want to include. 

Check Yes or No: Users can visit this site to compose simple yes or no questions and then share them on Twitter by using the “Send to Twitter” feature.

Blackbird: The name of a Twitter client for BlackBerry smartphones.

Flock: A social browser with many Twitter related features. Users can send and read tweets, read mentions, and perform and save Twitter searches. There is also a character count tool Twitter users can use to make 

sure they stay within the character limit. 

Foamee: A website where Twitter users can keep track of who owes them drinks (beer or coffee) and what drinks they owe to others. 

FollowersForSale: With this Twitter tool, users can buy a certain number of followers for a set price. 

FoodFeed: Using this site, users can share their food and eating habits in Twitter posts. 

Friend or Follow: A Twitter tool to find out whether people you following are following you back, and whether they are following the people following them. Interested twitterers simply need to enter their Twitter username at the site. 

Geotwitter: A website users can visit to view the geographical source of the most recently posted tweets.

Goo.gl: Google’s own URL shortener. Offers short URLs, reliable service and good uptime.

GroupTweet: A Twitter tool that lets users send messages that can only be viewed by a selected group of Twitter friends. 

gTwitter: A Twitter application developed for Linux, it allows users to post, read timelines, receive notifications, and more.

HashTags.org: Categorize your tweets so people can find them and understand what they are all about.

Hellotxt: A tool that lets users update Twitter and other social networking sites by clicking a single button. Currently, 50 social network sites are supported. () 

Ianswr: Compiles questions asked on Twitter and permits any Twitter user to answer them. 

InnerTwitter: Encourages Twitter users to meditate by sending chimes at specific time intervals or at random times throughout the day. These chimes are the signal for users to spend a few quiet moments in meditation.

iTweet: This is an interface for Twitter designed to make it easier to use Twitter from an iPhone.

Jotabl: A “shoutbox” you can display on any site or blog letting your visitors leave comments via a Twitter login.

LinkBunch: This tool lets Twitter users combine several links into one link so they can be shared in a single tweet.

LiveGo: Stay connected to multiple social networks including Twitter, Facebook, Instant Messenger clients and online email accounts.

LoudTwitter: A Twitter tool that allows Twitter users to display Twitter updates on their blog.

Monitter: Monitter is the name of a free Twitter tool that lets users monitor the Twitter service for a set of three keywords. Monitter then shows you what people are tweeting for the keywords.

Natter: Monitor your tweets and posts to your Facebook.

PocketTweets: The name of a mobile Web-based Twitter client for the iPhone. You can use it to see the latest tweets from your contacts or to update your status remotely.

TinyURL: shrink your URLs to 23 characters on Twitter or any online publishing space.

TurnSocial: A free social toolbar for small businesses to add popular social media and location-based applications, in addition to content from Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Foursquare and more.

Twadget: A gadget that lets users view and submit tweets from the Twitter Vista Sidebar Gadget

Tweet Effect: Filter Twitter data to show which of your own tweets made people follow or leave you.

TweetLevel: Measure an individual’s importance on Twitter using four key ranking metrics: influence, popularity, engagement and trust.

Twibs: An application that lets Twitter users find businesses on twitter.

Twidroid: A full-featured Twitter app designed for use on Android mobile phones.

TwitDir: Search within Twitter usernames, locations, and descriptions.

Twitrank: A Twitter user ranking service that provides an updated list of the top 150 Twitter users

Twitscoop: A Twitter search tool that lets Twitter users tracks popular trends and events.

TweetStats: Use this tool to see Twitter stats including tweets per hour, tweets per month, tweet timeline and reply statistics.

Twitter Widgets: Twitter’s own widgets are compatible with any website and most social networks.

The Legend of St. Valentine

The history of Valentine’s Day—and the story of its patron saint—is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? 

The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. 

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl—possibly his jailor’s daughter—who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and—most importantly—romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France.

Origins of Valentine’s Day: A Pagan Festival in February

While some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death or burial—which probably occurred around A.D. 270—others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. 

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.

Valentine’s Day: A Day of Romance

Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity and but was outlawed—as it was deemed “un-Christian”—at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine’s Day. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine’s Day should be a day for romance. 

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.) Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

Typical Valentine’s Day Greetings

In addition to the United States, Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine’s Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one’s feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine’s Day greetings. 

Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as “scrap.” Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.

So having said all of this HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to all of my readers and I got you a gift :-) .. copy and paste this into Google and search for it: sqrt(cos(x))cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5  

Or
Click here: HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

“Forgiveness is the final form of love”

Forgiveness is something that is the hardest thing in the world to do but can make the most impact in our lives.  When we truly and honestly forgive someone (not just saying I am sorry) but telling them from our hearts, minds and souls that we are truly sorry and that we forgive them it means that we have moved whatever happened and put it in the past totally.  With this being said we as human beings find it very hard to truly forgive and forget in life.  We say I’m sorry but we never truly mean it and that is because we have never truly forgiven that person(s) and choose not to let go of whatever happened.  Totally letting go and truly forgiving makes us feel vulnerable and open to attack and while this is a normal and accurate feeling it none the less scares us because we then lose the comfort of what we were holding on to.

I have talked with so many people over the past few years and I tell them all the same thing, “Forgive, forgive, forgive and forget.”  If you truly do love someone then you will let go and truly forgive them and if you can’t or won’t then you don’t truly love them.  They then look at me like I have just grown 6 heads after hearing that and I tell them that the only way a relationship of any kind will ever be able to move forward is to let go and forgive it truly is that simple, but with it being that simple makes it the hardest thing that we have ever had to do.  

Over the years I have learned that it really takes a toll on you when you carry all of the weight around with you of not forgiving and eventually at some point you will break and either one of two things will happen.  You will either; 1) Truly forgive them and let it go or 2) You will walk away and never look back letting all of that hurt build up on top of what you already have.  Is it really that black & white you ask?  The answer is yes you can either forgive or not.  If you go with door number one then you get it all off your chest and are able to move forward but if you choose door two all of that weight will be added on top of what is already existing and will continue to push you deeper and deeper into a hole till you have dug it so deep that you can’t get out and the dirt starts to cave in on you and before you know it you have buried yourself.

It’s not easy to learn how and to implement this and there is nobody not even me can help you do it.  All that I can say is to quote Nike, “Just Do It!”  I have gotten to a point in my life that I do not know hate, I do not hold a grudge nor do I try to get vengeance when someone does me wrong.  I am not telling you this to say look at me I’m better than you .. no .. I am telling you this to show you that it can truly be done.  It’s taken me years to do it.  When I am faced with hate or hurt I look back and draw strength from the fact that I have grown as a person and have the ability to let the things that need to fall off me .. fall off .. and that the things that I need to bring close to my heart and hold dear .. I bring them in (even if the outcome is uncertain) and hold them close for as long as possible even if that is a very short time or not.

Give me your thoughts and opinions about forgiving .. Do you actively forgive?? Do you let it sit there and fester like an wound till it becomes poisonous and eventually that poison seeps into our heart and soul?

Just keep in mind that it isn’t just about marriage .. it’s about equality and what’s right

Another state has stood up and said that we give equality to EVERYONE .. NJ you have proven that in the midst of hate you stand strong on the side of what is right. We are seeing one state at a time stand up for what is right and it makes me proud to say that maybe … just maybe … this country is waking up and seeing the truth.

We talk about 2012 being the end of the world because of the Mayan calendar but I don’t believe that.  What I do believe however is that there is going to be a great awakening this year and from where I sit it’s already happening.  Countries are starting to realize that we are all human beings and that all human beings have the same rights and privileges.  Eleanor Roosevelt the first lady of not only the US but of the world created the Human Bill of Rights which simply state that all humans are entitled to what the US Constitution granted to all Americans … she was a visionary and a true inspiration. 

As we slowly march forward into more battles to bring about equality never forget what we are fighting for.  I know most people believe that the GLBT Community is fighting for the right to marry and while that is part of it .. it is more for the protection under the law that we want.  As it stands right now if my partner passes away then his family can come in and take everything we have worked for and vise-versa .. we have NO protection to say we did all of this together and you cannot take it away.  The families that do that only dishonor and disrespect their family member that has passed away and that is not what they would want.  I always refer to this quote as it sums it up so well,

“If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.”

It pains me to see humans treating other humans with disrespect and honor because they are different.  We are all different and unique yet deep down inside we are all the same.  We are but one race .. one people .. and we all need to sing in one voice together as the song Humanity from Prince of Egypt says,

“One people one planet .. don’t take your brother for granted .. ” — let’s stand and sing in one voice and start to make a positive change in the world.

YouTube Link: Humanity

I love to sit and watch people, study them and learn about them .. the more I do the more I realize that life is one performance.  People go about their days so oblivious to their actions because they think their actions are just that … “their actions” … but they don’t realize just how their actions impact others thoughts, emotions, feelings, and life in general.  They seem themselves as just one out of millions so why worry???When ultimately their actions can cause a chain reaction that can suddenly spiral out of control and spread like wild fire. 

Whenever I talk with people (and no I am not a professional psychologist .. I am just someone that is good at listening and understanding) I tell them they need to look at their life like a sword.  When a sword is forged it has to be tempered which makes it stronger or like glass .. we temper it to give it strength.  We as human beings need to learn to temper our emotions, feelings, thoughts, actions and make them stronger. Learning how to control these is the key.  While it’s not a bad thing to wear you emotions on your sleeve it is however bad to act on them if you haven’t first learned to control them.  We can let ourselves get way too out of control and that can/will be our undoing in life.

The Vulcan’s (yes I know they are fictional) but they are the best example and the worst example.  They have tremendous control over their emotions however they have learned such control that they no longer express or even feel them to a degree.  We have to get to the point in which we have self-control and discipline over them like the Vulcan’s do but we don’t need to take it to the extreme they take it to.  It is actually a very very easy thing to do, to learn to control one’s emotions, however it’s the hardest thing to do.

Another thing that will help us learn to control and temper ourselves is is to learn to let the past lay .. learn and grow from it .. but do not dwell in it.  Dwelling in the past will only serve to hurt us because we continuously think what could I have done differently, what could I have changed, what did I do wrong and while those are the questions that we need to ask so that we learn from the past we as human beings tend to let it take control of us and we run WAY left field with it and keep going till we literally run ourselves into the ground with it and make ourselves sick. Moderation and patience as in all things is the key in life to learning how to make the changes in life that we want to make so that we can become a better person.  I always tell people when they start going into their past and bring up their past they need to just drop it.  It truly is that simple .. just drop it!  I then get a look from them and they say but I don’t know how .. I stop them right then and say yes you do .. JUST DROP IT .. don’t bring it up .. don’t live in it .. let it lay in memory and serve as a reminder to not do that again. 

I know people are going to read this and are going to say well it’s easier said than done and you are right it is easier said than done believe me I have been there as we all have and will, but I have learned how to make these changes .. no I am not saying I am better than everyone else and not trying to put myself up on a pedestal .. more so to serve as an example to say it can be done.